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ShrinkTalk.net

Do you wonder about the guy who leaves the therapist's office right before you? Or the woman who's booked after you? This site lays bare what really happens behind the therapist's door and what he really thinks of you.

I Would Have Been a Very Bad PhysicianYesterday

When I was about twelve years old I told my parents that I wanted to be a doctor. They beamed with delight. I could see the dollar signs in my mother's eyes and a look of relief in my father's face, secretly believing that I would be able to cure him of all the critical diseases that he feared but never ended up having.

And that continued for all of ten seconds until I continued "I'm going to be a Psychiatrist," and looks of confusion and disappointment swept all pride from their faces.

"Is that even a real doctor?" my mother said.

"What is the difference between that and a Psychologist? Don't they both just talk?" my father asked. "What if I catch Small Pox???"

I didn't know the answers to those questions. I did know, however, that even at a relatively young age I liked to talk with and listen to people. Some of my friends would come to me for advice when they had fights with their parents or their friends and I'd listen and tell them precocious words of wisdom. "Your mother sucks," "don't give in, insist on two desserts," and "tell her your dog ate it." I was like Lucy from The Peanuts and I dreamed of the day I'd have my very own booth to dispense advice from.

But I was undeterred. When I began 7th grade I sat down with my guidance counselor as part of the "Welc

Sex, Drugs and Death: A Trifecta of American Hangups - Part IIDecember 1

Philalawyer and I continue our conversation on American hang-ups, this time talking about everyone's favorite topic: sex. Below is an excerpt and click here to read the piece in its entirety.

Dr. Rob: Like pinot noir, football and the Wii, sex is what makes America great. So it can be frustrating to listen to uber-conservatives prattle on about its immorality. And I agree that sex is used as a controlling device in both popular and religious culture. That being said, I caution every young client I see about the inherent vulnerability that comes with sexuality. There's something in our hard-wiring that makes sex more than just orgasms. Our bodies were created to do it as much as possible, yet the psychological ramifications of it can be huge. When people are forced into it they often never recover, no matter how much therapy or medicine you give them. Men are taught that there's a direct link between their self-esteem and how much tail they get. Women are labeled as sluts for having sexual expression. And while our bodies are prepped for sex at a young age, our psychological development lags far behind. So if sex is a superior force as you describe, our sexual education needs to focus not just on proper condom use and where to buy a dental dam, but also on how to work with this force so that the sexual experience is more fulfilling from a psychological standpo

Sex, Drugs and Death: A Trifecta of American HangupsNovember 24

Philalawyer and I decided to shoot the breeze again, this time on a trio of issues he refers to as a "Trifecta of American Hang-ups." The man has some very compelling ideas and is significantly smarter than you or me. Well, probably just me. Below is an excerpt, and click here to read the first part of our conversation in its entirety.

Dr. Rob: Last year my doctor asked me if I had ever done drugs. When I told him that I had smoked marijuana in graduate school he said, "Not girlie drugs. Every idiot's done pot in college. Just stay away from the hard stuff." I'm not entirely sure if he's a good doctor, but when medical professionals couldn't care less if you do a little cannibis it makes me think our War on Drugs could stand a little tweaking of philosophy.

Dr. Rob is on the Cover of Time MagazineNovember 18

Now that I have your attention I should probably qualify that title. I don't mean Time Magazine per se, more like Time.com. I'm not on the cover but inside the magazine. And I didn't write an article for them, nor was formally interviewed. But I will say that I was quoted thanks to a conversation with Judy McGuire. Against her better judgment she again reached out to me to discuss the potential pitfalls couples face when traveling. She even managed to wrestle out of me a personal secret. You can read that article here. This new exposure might just propel me past Barack Obama in Time's Person of the Year voting. Only time will tell...

If you fancy yourself as hip to the dating scene you'd be doing yourself a service by checking out her work. She brings a new voice and interesting spin to the saturated market of relationship talk. Feel free to shoot her a question because other than this piece you shouldn't be cultivating your relationships via this site.

Happy Birthday, Mom: A Primer on Self-EsteemNovember 13

My mother turns 65 today. I flew down to South Carolina last weekend, unannounced, to surprise her for a birthday celebration. After a three-hour delay and turbulent flight where I couldn't even get a bag of peanuts (or a vodka tonic), I walked through her front door, exhausted, close to midnight. When she saw me she said simply, "What are you doing here?"

"It's your birthday weekend. I'm here to surprise you."

She looked unimpressed.

"Surprise!" I said weakly.

"What a waste of money. Next time send an e-card."

I went up to the guest room and thought about how I never let her...honesty get under my skin. This might be hard to believe after a trip through the Archives but I actually have high self-esteem. And, ironically, my mother is the reason why.

Most mental health theorists and practitioners believe that a child's relationship with his mother is a major factor in determining his psychological health as an adult. For most of my childhood I grew up in a one-parent home, and while my father is a great man, I spent most of my time with my mother after they got divorced.

When I was very young I knew how to count to 20 in Spanish (for comparison purposes, I can only count to three in Spanish today).