Toluu

My Grey World

I grey, you grey. Yeay.

I don’t believe in fairytalesNovember 18

Girls, and boys, grow up with fairytales. We were filled with positive thoughts, dreams, and hopes.

And then reality hit us when we’re growing up. Things are never easy. Things are not beautiful. After tears and letdowns, sometimes there’s still no happy ending. After crying because the evil stepmom never allowed us to go to the party, there’s still no fairy godmother coming and helping to meet the prince. There’s never a perfect thing in the world.

But sometimes we hold so dear to the thoughts that there really is a perfect thing. Perfect relationship. Perfect friendship. Perfect life. Perfect luck.

When do hopes become false hopes? When do dreams become unrealistic dreams? When do you draw the line?

I guess no one knows the exact answer, but I believe that people should, at some point of time, stop for a while and look at the big picture.

Somehow, I think, part of growing up is really knowing that fairytales don’t exist. Knowing that hopes and dreams, no matter how beautiful, can be impossible sometimes. Preparing for the worst. Getting ready for the unimaginable.

I’m not saying that I’ve stopped dreaming though. I think what still keeps me going is my own dream of seeing better days.

But I’ve stopped believing in fairytales. I’ve stopped hoping that everything is going to be fine, everything is going to be more or less perfect.

Things don’t happen that way and I’m glad that I know it early.

The end of classesNovember 17

Classes have ended. Projects have ended. I just handed in the beautiful 30-page report today, and that would be my last submission of the term.

As always, as the cliche saying goes, time flies.

And as always, I always review a term.

This term has not been my most tiring term ever. I guess the time has passed. I sure did lack of sleep sometimes, but not much. Overall this term has been quite enjoyable.

Exams are coming soon, and I wish my friends good luck. Some of them have 5 exams, which is like, super killer. Jia you!!

Here’s a song to cheer people up! Have a nice day everyone!

I miss you more than you can imagineNovember 16

I miss you more than you can imagine

When I’m lying alone on my bed in my pitch dark room, looking at the tiny indicator light of the aircon, knowing that you’re not on the other bed, singing or talking nonsense about your day.

I miss you more than you can imagine

When I wake up for school and knowing that there won’t be breakfast waiting for me. And when I have to buy something from the foodcourt and not waiting for dinner cooked by you.

I miss you more than you can imagine

When I have to go to school by bus. The closest I can get is to take taxi, which is very expensive. And the taxi drivers don’t crack jokes like you. And they don’t talk about mind provoking stuff like you.

I miss you more than you can imagine

When I see some random bimbo and wondering whether you will grow up to be like them. (Seriously, hopefully not)

I miss you more than you can imagine

When I see some talentless actors and thinking that you can just screw your school and bad influence friends and train to become like them.

I know I seldom call home or talk to you all. Let me tell you, sometimes it’s best to do that so that my mind won’t be clouded with my longing feeling to meet you all.

But really.

I miss you more than you can imagine.

Related posts:

1. Makes me wonder…

To people whose friends just got attachedNovember 14

First of all, especially if you haven’t got attached before, please know that juggling boyfriend/girlfriend and friends AND a plethora of other stuff is tiring and impossible. There’s a reason why the term “supermom” (who juggles husband, children, work, and everything else) was invented, you know.

Second of all, please know that we still want to hang out with you guys, just that sometimes our boyfriend/girlfriend made appointment with us. First come first served, ok? And also to mention that sometimes you just assume we’re busy with our boyfriend/girlfriend so you just exclude us because you think we’ll be busy anyway. No, we didn’t say no when you invited us. You didn’t even invite us, remember?

Third of all, we don’t live for you. Well yes we were ALWAYS together when we and you were still single, but hello. Doesn’t mean we dedicate our lives for you. This goes in line with #1 and #2. We’re just too busy and stressed juggling all, and sorry we can’t make it for an appointment with you because the boyfriend/girlfriend made it first. Yes, we want to make time for you but no, it can’t be fulfilled everytime.

All in all,

Friends support friends. Friends get happy when friends are happy. Friends understand friends. Friends don’t force selfish desire. Friends don’t assume. Friends don’t look with one eye. 

And friends will be friends even though they don’t see each other that often anymore.

I think t

24th of May - The Opera in a ForestNovember 14

I know it’s been so long! Nevertheless here’s my entry!

24th of May, the last day of our competition

It was the folk music category.. Songs that we sang:

• Sohran Bushi (Japanese)
• Xiao Huang Li Niao/小黄鹂鸟 (Mongolian folk song, sung in Mandarin)
• Mamayog Akun (Philippines)
• Dayung Sampan (Singapore, with melody adapted from a Chinese song)
• Now I Walk in Beauty (Navajo traditional prayer, sung in English)

After the competition we have free time until the result announcement and closing ceremony. So we headed to Monte Cassino street to visit Krzywy Dom (sorry if I spelt it wrong!) a.k.a Crooked House.

It lives to its name, surely..

photo by Brocha

We ate at this cozy restaurant in the Crooked House.

Here’s what I ate!