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Technology, Movies, Music, and Television Reviews by Jason Kaneshiro

Battlestar Galactica: 4.5 Imminent, You Will Know The TruthToday

The final ten episodes of Battlestar Galactica “evar” will start airing in 2009. The first episode is scheduled for January 16. Needless to say I’ll be there, and dedicating a post to each episode.

There’s also a new BSG website at youwillknowthetruth.com that contains “clues, theories, and perhaps even enlightenment” on all the annoying questions we’ve had about Battlestar Galactica so far. Tops on the list is the identity of the last of the final five cylons, but other burning questions I have are the explanation behind Baltar’s sexy 6 hallucinations, what’s the deal with Starbuck’s disappearance and return, and was Roslyn’s main attraction to Bill during that time on New Caprica his manly mustache - actually, no I don’t want to know the answer to that last one.

Anyhow, here’s a promo clip of what’s to come in these new episodes. Looks like a lot of pondering, Baltar preaching, and confusion.

Firefly: Objects In SpaceYesterday

Episode 13

Synopsis

River wanders around Serenity, and we hear things from her point of view, as she reads the minds of the various crew members. She eventually reaches the ship’s lower deck where she picks up a branch - which is actually a gun. Mal disarms her, and scolds Simon for failing to keep an eye on his sister.

In deep space, Jubal Early, a bounty hunter, sits in an odd spaceship consulting pictures of River.

As Mal Scolds Jayne for leaving his gun unattended, the bounty hunter leaves his ship in a space suit and walks along the Serenity’s outer hull. He peeks through a window to see Kaylee telling the others about Rive’s spooky ability with firearms (War Stories). Mal concludes River may be a danger to his ship and crew. Shepherd interrupts a potential moment between Kaylee and Simon.

Undetected, the bounty hunter boards Serenity and pulls out a gun. He sneaks along the halls and knocks out Mal. He then confronts Kaylee in the engine room, threatening to tie her up and rape her if she doesn’t cooperate. The bounty hunter continues on and disables Shepherd.

Simon hears a noise, and checks on River. The bounty hunter pulls a gun on Simon. River isn’t in her room, and the bounty hunte

iPhone App: TrismYesterday

Trism is a puzzle game for the iPhone that falls into that simple to learn, lifetime to master category. Just use your finger to slide rows and columns of triangles to match their colors. When a match of three triangles or more is made, the triangles disappear, and the remaining triangles fall to fill the holes created, in the direction your iPhone is titled.

The Good

• The use of multitouch and the “tilt” technique are surprisingly satisfying. The added bonus is a game that can only exist on the iPhone. I don’t think it would be nearly as fun to play using a console controller.
• Simple graphics with just enough embellishment to add pleasing pizazz - the glossy triangles beg to be touched, and the sounds and animations of falling and vanishing pieces are pitch perfect.
• Additional elements add polish and reflect further, inventive thought by the creator - bombs and locks appear on triangles for additional challenge, special triangles that allow you more movement options

iPhone App: JoostDecember 1

So Joost had a video website that seems to have fallen by the wayside what with Hulu and other options. Now they may have found an alternate method to get people to install their app through an iPhone app that basically does the same thing as the Joost desktop client - streaming video content to the iPhone.

The Good

• The product largely works as advertised. Content is organized into a simple, iPhone-like navigation tree of categories, with little thumbnails next to each show. Touch one and a Joost video UI appears, with expected controls.
• Video quality is acceptable for the tiny iPhone screen.

The Bad

• The biggest mistake with this app is it’s WiFi only. If I’m anywhere where I have a WiFi connection, I’ll likely just whip out the laptop with a bigger screen. Otherwise, I’ll just watch videos I’ve loaded on the iPhone, iPod style. Sure, the lack of streaming is likely due to 3G being too slow for Joost’s streaming technology, but th

Movie Notes: Miss ConceptionDecember 1

= 1 star

Starring Heather Graham, Mia Kirschner, Tom Ellis
Directed by Eric Styles

Synopsis

Thirty-something Londoner Georgina is told she has “one egg left” sending her on a hurried quest to get pregnant ASAP. Hilarity ensues.

The Good

• Graham and Kirschner, both donning British accents - have loads of chemistry together. Too bad they lack the proper equipment.
• Graham is likable enough in the lead, although her character’s total lack of intelligence does nothing to quash the pretty but clueless blond stereotype.

The Bad

• For such a presumably urgent situation, there’s an odd lack of urgency due to the lazy direction.
• Logic holes abound. Imagine you were in this situation; what would be your first choice? Sperm bank, most likely. It takes a while for Georgina to try that, and she gives up all too easily after she squirts the goods on a birthday cake. Our heroine soon falls into a cartoon pattern - try something and fail, then try something else, not unlike the coyote implementing various schemes to snag the road runner.
• Georgina seduces a man and brings him back to her flat, where she has left her baby making calendar on the coffee table. Naturally, he reads it and flees. Stupid, stupid, stupid - and she wants to pass her genes on to the next generation?
• Taking a cue from the coyote cartoons, the flick could have gone far funnier places. How about Georgina becoming a hooker? How about using Clem as man-bait and then engaging in a threesome? How about a sperm-bank heist? How about jumping the fertility doctor?
• Ready conflict remains sadly unexploited - a hook up with Zak’s best friend, or Zak accidentally gets the “rich girl” rival pregnant. But no, the film saunters lazily toward the obvious, safe ending, just like the safe sex Georgina has surely practiced all her life.

Conclusion

Passable, totally brain-dead and harmless, dipping one toe in so-bad-its-good territory. Could run in the background while you do your taxes - which is sad, considering the potential wayward sex-appeal of its subject matter. Skip it.

IMDB: Miss Conception
Wikipedia: Miss Conception
Rotten Tomatoes: Miss Conception 10%