Toluu : What Would Tyler Durden Do?

What Would Tyler Durden Do?

Okay this Jessica Simpson (?) pic just showed up in my email and I've never seen it before and I've looked around and asked around and no one seems to know what it is or where it's from, so I’m assuming it’s a fake, but I will literally start to hump my screen if it's real and there are more.

HAHAHA, PICK IT UP RUMMYYesterday

To recap, in 2003, Michelle Rodriguez was charged in Los Angeles with hit-and-run and failure to exchange insurance information, plus driving with a suspended (New Jersey) license and driving without a valid California license. Later in 2003, she was pulled over for speeding through a Hollywood Boulevard intersection. She was charged with driving under the influence, driving with a suspended license and driving without a valid license. In August of 2005, she was clocked going 80 mph in a 50 mph zone. Two months later she was caught driving 90 mph in a 35 mph zone. One month after that she was ticketed for driving 83 mph in a 55 mph zone. Eleven days after that, she was arrested on Oahu after failing a field sobriety test, registering a blood-alcohol level of 0.145 percent, nearly twice the legal limit of 0.08. For this incident she served 5 days in jail. She was already on probation, and because she violated that, she was sentenced to 60 days in jail. She served four hours and 20 minutes, but she was sentenced to community service, which she did not do. In fact she provided the court with fake documents saying she had completed community service in LA on Sept 25. She wasn't even in LA on the day she claimed to do it, she was in New York. For all this, she was sentenced to 180 days in jail. Of course this is LA so she was released after 17. But she did get community service, and this time, shockingly, she even did it. Today she finished the last

I HEART LILY ALLEN, PART 18Yesterday

So many big stars never give good answers to anything; they just sputter out some poorly formed nonsense that is perfectly safe and boring. Lily Allen on the other hand...

You never hear the good things about taking cocaine ... the only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you - you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true. I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work. But we never hear that side of the story. I wish people wouldn’t sensationalise it. Some people are just bad at taking drugs.

Lily says she tried coke and didn’t like it, but please don’t think she's done pissing people off.

I don’t like Christianity much. I was brought up in a Catholic school and they told me gays, adultery and drugs were bad. All my mum’s friends were gay, my dad was having affairs and there were drugs in the house when I was a kid, so it was a bit cruel.

I admire her can-do spirit about coke. We only hear the liberal medias negative spin, but without it our models would be fatasses and our linebackers would never reach a hundred tackles. More importantly, look, if you can think of some better way to get 17-year-old runaways to do anal in a porn, I'm all ears, Mr. Fixit.

(picture source =

BRAD SAYS HE NEVER CHEATEDYesterday

Brad Pitt tells W magazine this month that he never cheated on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie while they (Pitt and Jolie) were filming "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". Although he should have. Jeez this bitch is ugly. Pitt says...

"What people don't understand is that we filmed 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' for a year. We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful."
"Listen, man, Jen is a sweetheart. I think she got dragged into that one, and then there's a second round to all that Angie versus Jen. It's so created. Jen and I still check in with each other. She was a big part of my life, and me hers. I don't see how there cannot be that. That's life, man. That's life."

It's funny to think that Nicole Kidman was originally cast as Jane Smith and even shot a few scenes before she had to drop out and got replaced by Jolie (who was actually the third choice). Funny for me that is. Jen probably doesn’t think it's as cute. Because it ruined her life and haunts her to this day. It's why she started doing heroin. What, she doesn’t do heroin? Oh, well whatever. What am I, a detective.

ITS MY LUCKY DAYYesterday

Everyone in the media agrees that Sarah Jessica Parker is gorgeous and amazing, but keep in mind that everyone in the media is either a girl or gay guy or a gay guy still in the closet. Point being, expect a lot of hand wringing about that withered old hag breaking up with her eunuch husband.

Star told you first that Sarah Jessica Parker's husband, Matthew Broderick, was cheating on her with a younger woman. Now, we can exclusively report that the beloved Sex and the City superstar has begun house hunting in New York City — solo!
"The time has come when she realizes it just isn't worth it," a friend of the couple tells Star. "Sarah Jessica is determined to get her own place and bring down the curtain on her marriage."
Adds another insider: "Sarah's not stupid. She knows exactly what's going on. For a while it was easier for her to stay than go through a harsh divorce. They're essentially living separate lives."

Well, look I love Star because it’s a trashy piece of shit, but they lost me when they said Matthew Broderick was cheating with a younger woman. If that dude isn't gay, I will eat my hat. He should move to Toronto and live an openly gay life like Mike Meyers has. I don’t know why anyone is pretending otherwise. Illuminati? Hmm, maybe, but why?