Toluu

Manuscripts and Sippy Cups

Insanity Served Regularly. Also the home of my second WIP, a novel with no name.

My Triumphant 100 PostJanuary 2

It's not a meme. It's not "100 Things About Me." It's not even "100 Random things About (insert idea here)." It's so much better than I could have hoped for. It's a delayed Christmas gift from the karma gods, Buddy Christ--whomever you believe in. Before I give you the story, here's the backstory:

Once upon a time, there lived the Engineer family: loveyh, Mr. Engineer, and Bran. They wanted a house to call their own, so they bought a lot and a house plan in a new development that was affordable and in a good school district, marketed to young families such as theirs. Within months of house completion, they were blessed with the impending arrival of 'Roo, and all was well.

Moving day came and went, and they found themselves the owners of a cute little house in a spanking new neighborhood. They had seen some "For Rent" signs in the new houses near them, but the neighbor house on their left side had been rented to a quiet Eastern European family. Life seemed wonderful, and so did the neighbors and the landlord. Then, catastrophe truck. The nice neighbors were actually batshit crazy and moved out. The landlord, frustrated by the lack of qualified rental applicants, put the house on the market after 6 weeks. It sold to another nice, quiet, Eastern European family...or so we assumed.

They turned out to be TERRIBLE neighbors. Their children were neglected, left to roam like wild, nosey wolves. They had a destructive streak, which manifested itself by

99th Post, and An ApologyDecember 28 2008

I took an unintentional blog hiatus. I'm sorry. I will warn you the next time that happens.

I have also been slacking on reading blogs. Since my surgery, I have been playing catch-up in real life--from the manuscript that is less than five chapters from completion, to the Christmas shopping and all that entails. Plus, I got incredibly sick (as those of you who are my friends on Facebook know)and I wasn't feeling very verbose or incredibly witty---just snotty and voiceless.

I have re-read all the Harry Potters and Twilight books, survived the Arctic Blast and the two feet of snow, and I promise to check in more frequently here and with all of my favorites. I'm going to start following some of you folks, so be forewarned.

Oh, yes, and one more thing? I will have another installment of "Untitled" by my birthday, which is January 3. That's by Saturday.

Next post is my 100th post, and I won't be doing anything normal. Any suggestions?

Like a TruckNovember 20 2008

Ed. note: I'm going to get a bit maudlin on you (blame last week's ER for it), so feel free to skip it if you want to. It won't hurt my feelings.

It's amazing to me. After almost four and a half years, grief can sneak up on me, surprising me into tears at the simplest things. There are nights that I'm sleepeless, thinking about all that you've missed, and the tears come hot and fast. Your granddaughter will smile or giggle, being utterly adorable, being her, and I'll tear up, knowing you didn't know she ever made an appearance. Your grandsons--three of thr four--have your ears. One even has your laugh--startling and silly and sad all at once. They all have your stubbornness, your strong will, and your crinkly eyes when you smiled.

And you'll never know that. You won't be there for first school days, first dance recitals, first graduations, first dates...all because you had the incredible bad luck of contracting a disease that can only be controlled. The grief I feel scares me and surprises me to no end.

The worst part is its inconsistency. I can be watching tv, reading a book, or doing something else equally mundane, and something reminds me of you. I was petrified of the hospital because the sounds reminded me of the cancer ward you spent so much time in, the ward where they couln't save your life. I try and surround your grandchildren with as much of you as I can bring myself to have around--pictures, memorabilia, gifts. Even then, it's a c

Well, It's Surgery Day...November 10 2008

And obviously, I'm not there? Why, you may ask? Did I chicken out and run screaming at the site of a needle? Did I get drunk and forget to not eat or drink?

Nope. I had emergency surgery on Sunday, November 2 at 8:00 am. Praise the Lord and pass the Percocet. Yee-haw. Ask Avery--she drove my painful gut to the ER so Mr. Engineer wouldn't be there all night with Brann and the 'Roo in their jammies, falling asleep on intoxicated strangers waiting to have a wound stitched.

So, now I'm gallbladder-free, and tired all the damn time. I can't lift much, and I'm a-scairt to drive.

And I'm out of Percocet. Damn.

Untitled--Part TenOctober 31 2008

(Ed. note: Happy Halloween! Here's a treat for you!)

"Last session was rough for you."
"It's just that I know we're nearing the end of Mom's life and it's hard to deal with, especially now."
"Why is it hard to deal with now?"
"Because I am a mom without my mom to seek advice from.My sisters are great, but...well, they're not Mom. And I miss her."
"That's natural. Are you willing to start from where we left off?"
"I think I can."
"Good, let's begin there."
"The alarms went off all at once, and there was such a commotion..."

Nurses crowded the small room, waking Amie from her nap. She scrambled into the hall, where we stood in the shadow of Dad's arms, huddled together like newborn kittens. As quickly as the cacophany of shouts and orders began, it ended, and the nurses and doctors filed out of the room.

The doctor came up to where we were standing, her eyes grim.

"She's stable for now, but her heart is getting weaker by the hour. We're moving her to ICU as soon as we can get a bed." She patted me on the arm and looked over our heads to Dad. "Do you want to call anyone, make arrangements?"

"She's already done that," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. We could feel his arms trmble as he struggled to maintrain composure. I disentangled myself from his embrace and stood up as straight as I could manage.

"I'll call Gramma and see if I can reach Alyssa on her cell." I looked