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kuro5hin

technology and culture, from the trenches


The Magic Head
It was about this time of year that it happened.  I had been working at Old Man Keffer's garage when he dropped dead.  That old piece of dried meat didn't leave a damn thing in order, and the bank shut it all down a week later.  I was flat broke with Patty and the baby to care for -- I couldn't even afford the medicine for her asthma.  Anyone who knows me could probably guess I hit the bottle pretty hard.
Predictions for 2009
2008 is over, and it's been quite a year. There are plenty of metaphors to go around. Some refer to the Black Swans (which couldn't possibly exist). Another author writes about the tipping point. I like to think of the present as our collective Wile E. Coyote moment. The usual method of predicting the future is trends analysis. I took some flak last year for saying that trends do change, and when they do, that they can change quite rapidly. Kuro5hin's first six annual predictions stories predicted a few curve balls, but most predictions were continuations of the old trends. I felt the call to reprise my role as K5's Nostradamus again this year when I noticed that a few have become entranced by the false prophet. Some predictions in last year's piece were wrong, some are still developing, and some have come to pass more-or-less as predicted. After reviewing last year's hits and misses I will offer my take on what the future has queued up.
Fuck Christmas, we aren't having it this year.
For the last 10 years or so we (my wife and I) have been advocating for a change in how our respective families celebrate the Christmas holiday. This year, with the help of circumstance, we decided to cease observation of the Christmas holiday (and all other Catholic holidays) and make our annual family-oriented holiday Thanksgiving. What has been most surprising about this is the consistent response to our decision, a chorus of "scrooge","what about your kids?!", and "How exactly is CHRISTmas not a Christian holiday". Not one single person has said "neat", even the unwashed pagans get all bent out of shape about it. Apparently not celebrating Christmas makes you a bad parent, the anti-Christ, and a generally despised pariah (not necessarily in that order).
A Mini-Guide To Surviving the Holidays
In the last few weeks of every year, most of the western world will be celebrating holidays. It is one of the few times if not the only time of year that family and friends get together and share happiness, camaraderie, hope and best wishes for the new year and reflection on the past year. It can also be a time of stress, anxiety, loss of your job and financial ruin. Below is a brief guide for making it through the next couple of weeks in a way that saves face, helps out with family and in general will help you maintain your sanity.
Isopod Attack Formations Engage
When I get into work, I usually put on a CD. Strictly to annoy the broads in the typing pool. I pipe the music through a speaker I set up one night that vents directly into their cess pit of typing and gossip. The place is a sick mess. Today it was Enslaved's newest record, RUUN. I blasted it as loud as the speakers could go and all the chicks in the typing pool got all hot and bothered because it was too loud. A wail like the Mooslim call to prayer went up with a sad dying shriek.