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- Banana Chips and Brake LightsMay 14
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Trouble comes in twos. After finishing up my day at work, a handy bag of banana chips by my side, I pop one last one in my mouth and turn to start packing up to head home. Suddenly, my stomach siezes up in a knot of pain. I slump back in my chair, wondering I'm going to hurl or if the feeling will pass. I wait. It doesn't pass quickly. I eventually decide I'm not going to vomit, so I attempt to get back up and make my way home, where there is a comfortable couch waiting for me to stretch out on.
I reach my car, open the door and unload everything inside. I slump behind the wheel and sit for a moment, wondering what the heck I could have eaten or drank that could be causing the problem. Shrugging, I turn the car key in the ignition and.. nothing. Nothing happens. No starter motor, no whine of a dying battery -- not even a simple click, dashboard lights. Nothing.
I decide that I have legitimately earned my sad puppy dog status at this point and call my wife, Andrea. She is in a generous mood and willing to drive down and give me a jump. Excellent! While I am waiting, I call my friend Zoe who is a specialist in bacterial research and knows all the warning signs of green meanies like E.Coli or food-bourne Staph. I describe my symptoms. She doesn't think it's the banana chips. I glare at my fountain drink I got at the local deli. My wife arrives.
Quickly, I get my car jump-started and we proceed to drive home. At the traffic light near my house, - listening to "Praise You - Fatboy Slim" on BlipApril 15
- I have to praise you like I should.
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- listening to "Organ Donor - DJ Shadow" on BlipApril 15
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